Wednesday, May 27

Outlaws


During our playdate in Dallas, Ben and his buddy Beckham got into a wee bit of trouble. It all started on Saturday. The two decided to join forces to tear up the town of Fort Worth, Texas. Walking down the sleepy streets they happened upon a gaggle of horses the size of Schnauzers (but they were horeses). With no regard to the small children in line to ride the horses, Ben and Beckham commandeered the horses and galloped off.

***Please check out the sweaty man in the background. It was hot!***

Their first stop was Billy Bob's, the greatest Honkey Tonk bar in the land. They tied the horses up outside, dumped the breastmilk from their bottles in the dirt and swaggered inside. 

"Fill um' up!" they yelled at the bartender as they slid their now empty bottles down the bar.

B and B each downed a few of Texas' finest. In his honkey tonk state, Beckham threw caution to the wind and decided to wrestle a Grizzly named Brutus. A normal Grizzly would be quite a feat, but a Grizzly named Brutus is another tale all together. With only a small scratch, Beckham walked away the winner. The two filled up their bottles one last time and set off to ravage the town. Little did they know the authorities were already hot on their trail.


Galloping down the street on their tiny horses, B and B found what they had come for. An entire pen of Longhorns. These were definitely the real thing and B and B had a plan. Being part Oregonian, Ben is somewhat of an animal rights activist. Having just fought Brutus the Grizzly, Beckham knew the ways of the animals. B and B decided to set the Longhorns free before the big rodeo that night. 


They rode up to the pen, tied up the tiny horses once again. They sauntered up to the Longhorn pen pretending to be tourists. Just as they were close enough, they reached out, unlatching the pen and setting the Longhorns free. Unfortunately Longhorns aren't the fastest (or smartest) animals on God's great earth and they sat staring at the two outlaws rather than making a run for it. B and B urged the great beasts on, focusing all their attention on the animals. Little did they know, the town constable had them surrounded. 

B and B were taken by surprise before their mission had even been completed. The two were hauled away to the Forth Worth County Jail. 


Once in jail the two outlaws got into a rumble, each blaming the other for their bad luck. 



The two quickly came to their senses and put their differences behind them. While waiting to be rescued from prison they began planning their next adventure. Oregon, here they come.

4 comments:

Lauren and Matt said...

Omg, I am cracking up right now!!! You're a funny girl Lindsey Lyons!!!!

the neills said...

omgosh lindsey. that was too funny! how very clever. :)

ps--is that a REAL stuffed grizzly?

Bayjb said...

That is really funny. Beckham on the grizzly looks slightly frightened but tough.

Mike and Emily Campbell said...

This is a hilarious story!! I love the pics from the FW Stockyards! My hometown :)