Tuesday, April 28

Paranoia, paranoia everybody's coming to get me.

I have an unnatural fear of natural disasters. It doesn't matter what it is, if it's natural I'm totally freaked. The other night there was talk of a tornado around San Antonio. I had about 45 dreams about tornados that night. 

After the tsunami of 2004 I woke up in a cold sweat at my brother-in-law's beach house. I was alone in bed and it was dark. If there was a tsunami, how would I know which way was up? 

About 2 months before I was born, Mt. St. Helen's erupted. My hometown of Portland was covered in snow-like ash. My parents still have some to this day. Maybe this is cause for my unnatural fear.

I love any movie that has anything to do with natural disasters (also man-eating sharks but that's a different story all together). It's like a train wreck I can't turn away from. Tornados, planet destroying astroids, volcanos, nuclear winter. Whatever. I'm into it.  Is there an actual known phobia for my condition?  

As a mom a whole new fear has crept into my being. I'm totally freaked to have Ben sleep anywhere except next to my bed. He's asleep there as I type (in a bassinet because his bedroom is way upstairs while ours is downstairs). What if there was a fire while he was upstairs? What if a crazy craigslister broke into our house while we were asleep? What if a tornado rips through our home (or a hurricane or astroid)? How does one overcome this fear? 

You see, I have plans. Things I will do if any of these scenarios come true. We're downstairs if our house lights aflame. I know where to go if there is a tornado. I sleep with a weapon next to my bed when Nate is gone (when Nate's home he is my weapon). If an astroid hits us I guess we're pretty much screwed no matter where Ben is sleeping. At least that would be fast. But for the most part, my plans are foiled with Ben upstairs. 

As it stands, poor Ben is going to be 15 and still sleeping on the floor next to my bed (I guess I should say poor Nate as well). They may both end up in therapy twice a week. Hmm, maybe I'm the one who needs the therapy.


Elizabeth said...

OMG, you are too funny. Jeff makes fun of my many fears too. He also makes fun of me for having plans. Every time I drive over a bridge I put my hand on the window button just incase my car was to fly off the edge, then I could roll the window down and get out before the car sank. I also have a fear someone will come in to steal Brayden. We are down and Brayden is up so I figure I would cut the guy off at the stairs. At least your fears are natural disasters, mine are just dumb. ;-)

the neills said...

i totally have those thoughts and have indeed figured out the solutions...even when we lived in the old house and ryenn was downstairs, i always had her window cracked a smidge (w/one of those thingys to block the window from opening further, but easily removed) and told her how to climb how the window in case of fire. i, too, use rob as my weapon or the baseball bat when he's gone and am damn glad i have two dogs, one being big and young. and i have totally tried to think of what i would do if i somehow ended up in the river, like your friend elizabeth and how would i get the kids out quickly?? it just gets soo bad. you have terrible, hideous thoughts about awful things that can happen to your kids that you just have to push away...i also dream quite frequently about tornados and tidal waves...YOU ARE NO ALONE. ;)

Lindsey said...

Hmm. I like the hand on the window button idea. I'm pretty sure I'll start doing that now too. Luckily there aren't many bridges in San Antonio (at least not over water). Thanks ladies!

Lindsey said...

Hahaha! This post cracks me up because I get so freaked out and my hubs must calm me down!