Scorpions, Red Ants, and Crickets (oh my!)

**Disclaimer** Do not read if you are an animal rights activist.

Scorpions:
Fact 1: Scorpions are not as big as my hand. In fact they are more closely compared to my baby finger.

Fact 2: Scorpions do not chase you.

Fact 3: Any scorpion that chooses to come into my house will die.

Advice: When buying new carpet for your home, opt for a non-scorpion color. Those suckers blend in well.

Red Ants:
Fact 1: Red Ants are not actually red nor do they have flames painted on them to warn of the painful bite that is to come.

Fact 1 part 2: If you look carefully, you can see a tiny red head (more like maroon really). Unfortunately, by that time it's usually too late.

Fact 2: Pouring boiling water on a red ant hill also kills the grass.

Fact 3: Just like their sugary cousins, red ants do not like windex.

Crickets (by far my favorite of the 3):
Fact 1: Crickets come in a variety of sizes. Some are quite large in fact.

Fact 2: They like to hang above the doors at stores and drop on unsuspecting shoppers at any time.

Fact 3: Crickets are not very bright. They jump into any open door where you find large piles of their dead friends. The poor people at Blockbuster must have to sweep the floor every half hour.